Reality Shows

Reality shows like the First 48 are dramatic in nature, but that's in part because ratings are highly sought. The people in the show are definitely exploited, as well as the rest, going all the way back to the first several reality shows conducted for entertainment purposes. This reminds me of the Real World and its long legacy of truth-telling scenes of raw conflict, emotions, and behavior between unfamiliar adults.
The characters in the First 48 have to sign up to be followed and recorded, without pursuit of legal action regarding the misuse of their image and voice. With that said, anything that happens is unexpected and yet, expected. It seems that not much can be done after that agreement is made. I don't mean to sound so passive and pessimistic, but we are all adults who have knowledge of how brutal situations can get.

Comparison

The most interesting thing I can obviously see about Dallas, Texas is that they would vote for McCain in a presidential election. The one year that I spent in Dallas was '96 and while I do not remember much, I recall the very spacious living arrangements compared to New York. Dallas has no mention of a median income rate. New York City is suggested to have the younger average population than the rest of the nation. One thing the two cities have in common is that they are both very diverse.
Another interesting observation is that Dallas is "home to affluent communities" while New York City has a high income average, not mentioning if the community reflects this prosperity

Palette

Sometimes I get a little sad to see that it's been so long since I've expressed myself in a pure way. Well, all I did was look at this picture I have for my profile and let the words fall from my mind to the paper.

Yellow is the skin I see when I look in her mirror, the friendship a smile brings

A cool blue refreshens without water, the skies which lead this beautiful season

And my lips a rich natural pink completing the basic spring color palette, to reflect the easy ladylike grace I talk you into this journey with....

HaHaHa.....Why me?

The tickle torture was a person tied up and tickled, most likely on the bare feet. This procedure was used for both extreme and leisure measures since it was uncomfortable after a while of doing so. The laughter would become too much to bear. There isn't much documentation of tickle torture in history besides a few New York incidences, in Chinese history for unmarked punishment, and in Ancient Rome where it became painful for the victim. In the late 1800's, New York newspapers reported the events when people were tortured either here in New York or in Europe. The first mention of where it was practiced was China and dates back to the Han Dynasty, 206 BC. This topic is interesting to me because it lacks gore.

Neighborhood

An intense blend of different cultures, the significant essences of each social class, there are many things to appreciate about this neighborhood. Living near a highway and a mall brings the inner city busy-ness closer to me. Traffic is not foreign over here, an empty street is. There is always someone walking down each block because its safe for the most part. There aren't any houses nearby, the rows begin many blocks away. On my particular block, there are doctor's offices, a gated playground, an open area with a bench, and many, many cars. The area is flooded with people who are comfortable and polite. There are trees showing off their healthy green leaves in this transformation of springtime. They're held back by concrete and bricks lining the block. There's a comfortable noise level that eases up as the day winds down.
The air is mostly clean and clear until you walk into my building, a foreign smell of cooked food is picked up. The people in the neighborhood are mostly busy, working folk, the ages range, exemplifying the variation of each age group presence. This area is great because it's safe , divers and community minded/oriented. There seems to be a low crime rate over here according to the lack of news reported incidents. There are a few open areas such as a couple of parks, empty lots, and school fields. Train stations are within walking distance from my co-op building. Overall it seems to be a great area to live in for its easy accessibility to transportation means, schools, shopping areas, and recreational locations. There are two libraries close by that I've visited on occasion. It takes 30 minutes to travel to my old neighborhood, Jamaica, and the same amount of time to reach Manhattan.This travel time is a staple in my active life which I can rely on. There are numerous food stores a few blocks away. There is a local supermarket in which everyone knows each other. From this view, the trees don't dance the way I usually see from my own window. There is some litter on other blocks and sometimes the garbage is from other blocks. The only thing I don't like about it, is that it's so far from everyone I know in Brooklyn and Rosedale.

Guessing game of my love: food!

The cook I work with made it for me with a side order. It was very crunchy, slightly salty, and creamily sweet with bitter vegetables poking out. This meal reminded me of a particular holiday. The crumbs from my deliberate biting fell to the plate. The red sauce squeezed out as I pressed my meal together. I dipped my side order into a mildly sweet sauce from a bottle. I ended up chewing on the last bit of thickly sliced meat and that was all she wrote.

Closed

I'm so upset that the high school I attended will be closing. There's even Facebook groups dedicated to keep it open. I was notified of meetings earlier this year where former students were in attendance to voice their opinion. I've heard it will be closing anyway.

I'd like to see the school decrease the enrollment rate to compare to the amount of graduates each year.

This disappoints me that it will close, but it doesn't surprise me. When I was a senior, the school definitely changed. The hallways were louder because of the younger students, the hallways were always littered with kids and security officers. The didn't seem to be an end to it. They were looked at as loud and rambunctious, without cause.

It's Elementary, Watson

What I liked about elementary school was that it was not my zone school, but I was allowed to attend anyway since my grandmother was a teacher there. I liked that people would recognize me for many different things, including this.

I lived in her house, so it was easy for us to arrive in the morning. We drove the 45 minutes to the South Ozone Park location. I became familiar with her fellow teachers and their grandchildren. I liked that she called the kids her own, but I knew there was no way I could feel jealous or neglected. I was so small growing up, that she sent the older kids for me after school or just whenever she needed me. At that age, we didn't look much alike, but she always introduced me to others proudly.

School Times

In junior and high school, I hated waking up so early. I mean, I guess us students had it kind of easy compared to the teachers. In my world, waking up at 6:30 a.m. was the end of the world. It was easy to tell that I'm a night person. I would stay up late on the phone or watching t.v. All through school, I had not paid attention to time management. That helped me become the procrastinating student I am today. I can say that I'm working on it since a few years ago. In high school, I was late for my first period probably 80% of the time. I would have still been getting ready for school by the time I was supposed to leave. An ideal time to start school probably would have been 8:30 or 9 a.m. I wonder who came up with these hours anyway.

It was interesting that I lived 30 minutes away from the high school when traveling on the bus and walking distance.

Immigrants, Students, College,Funding, Citizenship

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/22/undocumented.students/

I don't know many facts when it comes to immigrants and funding their educations and activities. From the recording we heard in class regarding the topic, it seems that these girls might have searched for options to get into college if they had the knowledge of what they were missing and how it would affect their future. Lacking certain documents could hold someone back from the opportunities available to Americans.

The fact that these girls want to go and work hard to go is impressive and helps others appreciate the value of determination and education.

Worst Job

For me, it didn't get any worse than a customer service representative position at Domino's Pizza. My best friend and I met there in the summer of 2005. I was 19-20 years old. We had a great time getting to know each other there and laughing about every little thing.

There were a few perks to the job. We were allowed to create our own little pizzas, have breaks, phone calls, and leniency as far as prompt arrival to work. It seemed the worst because of the way all of the workers were treated at times by some of the customers and the general manager. Sometimes we were yelled at, cursed out, thought to be stupid, called liars by the callers. Then, our manager talked to us like we were less than others when he was upset with us or we screwed something up. It was like a twisted family, like he's an uncle taking care of two sisters. We had to argue over our hours to make sure they were accurate, just a mess. It was easy to tell that we were overqualified.

Lying With The Eyes

I believe that people know how to lie with their eyes. It sounds good but you can’t always tell who is honest by searching their eyes. I was watching a t.v. show when someone had to commit to a statement which kept him from going to jail. He spoke to his old friend who was an officer of the law and the officer vouched for him as a testimony or alibi. In the end, the truth came to light about who committed the crime and it was indeed, the lying eyes person. When people try to portray innocent to people close to them, it's a shame to see the dishonesty. Some thing has probably given them away but maybe it wasn't conspicuous enough. Either way, I think that people can lie to anyone if they had enough conviction to do so. This makes me think of when I hear about people not being able to control certain body functions which could give reason to doubt them, such as: an eye twitch, averting the eyes, touching the nose, fumbling the fingers, twisting words around.

I believe

I believe in Karma.
I believe in a higher being but am not sure if it is God or more than one or a completely different being altogether.
I believe that guys are foolish to think there are only 3 great women who come along in their lives. This saying was probably created to stop mistreatment of females in general.
I believe that insecurity and unstable homes generally do not produce well-balanced individuals.
I believe that my presence here at this time and in my body is for a reason.
I believe in love at first conversation.
I believe that people know how to lie with their eyes. It sounds good but you can’t always tell who is honest by searching their eyes.
I believe in practical jokes.
I believe that we will have very desperate times stemming from the greed and negative choices people live by.
I believe that President Obama might come across danger since racism is still alive in this country. I strongly do not want to, but I would be closing my eyes to reality if I did.
I believe that music help people fall in love more than their partner helps.
I believe that there isn’t an actual cure for AIDS for a reason.
I believe that religion was created by man to give people hope and to somewhat control others.
I believe in dreams come true.
I believe that homosexuality existed way before people like to accept it now.
I believe that McDonald’s will never go out of business.
I believe that nuclear weapons are a waste of a threat.
I believe in hard work paying off.
I believe that overeating is exquisite pleasure, but totally bad for you.
I believe that we should consider vegan, or what I like to call myself, flexitarian lifestyles since we will probably run low on animals for nourishment someday. And run low on animals to give the steroids to.
I believe that I will get the college degrees I want, but it will take a lot out of me.
I believe in extra-terrestrials.
I believe that 15 minutes of fame isn’t for everyone, therefore we do not need reality shows for every single, little thing.
I believe that all humans are hypocritical to a certain extent.
I believe that as time goes on, more and more people will try to think outside of the box. There will only be more and more categories made to identify these people and exceptions.
I believe that people should not complain about money problems when their priorities are in the wrong order.

Naomi... Porn... Men... Thing

Naomi Wolf seems to have detailed her points thoroughly and her opinions weren't written in a sexist manner.

I agree that people who have learned sexual acts from porn have carried that over into real life and interact with others.
I feel like her post left out certain groups of people who actually do appreciate porn and their own girlfriends. This has more to do with a connection to someone else rather than imitating a sex act from t.v.

Daddy on Death

The other day, my dad and I watched a movie at home and when it was over, we spoke about the depth the movie possessed. As he continued to talk, I thought of my late maternal grandmother. He continued on with his understanding of the movie and how relatable the sentiments evoked are. He spoke of his father who passed away several years ago and I listened, counting how little he has spent expressing his feelings towards his father. Eventually I couldn't fight back tears for the absence of my grandma. I came to feel like:
Strength is far from me as my body bends and folds to the floor,
withdrawn from my usual cheerful,
limbs and organs missing,
a piece of me I can dream and hear but not see...
RIP Grandma

Man and Wife

I keep hearing that in a marriage reception, after the vows are recited, the man stays a "man" but the woman becomes a "wife". There's small controversy about recent adjustments changing both parties to "husband" and "wife," respectively. Although this is improvement, it doesn't seem to be a world-wide change we can look forward to. As a female, this holds some importance to me as far as how I'm regarded and slight injustices which may follow. Just something that was on my mind....

Alpha Males

On the topic of Alpha males, these thoughts came to me after a homework assignment which was to read a man's essay. His passage was passionate about the expectations he felt were demanded of him specifically based on his gender. While reading his work, he seemed to be very extreme in the situations described.

Men today have consequences when faced with confrontations and choose to walk away. In situations where both men have an understanding of the offense (and possibly the code of the scene), both men can walk away without losing respect. When there is no connection or understanding, the result is unpredictable.

Creative Writing

I've recently realized that I'm surrounded by artists, geniuses in the making, and others of that sort. This seems to be a blessing to me because I hope my own talents can benefit and affect them in return.
This excites me in the sense that I could possibly be enriched any way at all creatively.

I've always had a passion for writing my own poetry and reading few select other poems. It feels like my mind is a playground for me to run around and make my emotions parallel to metaphors which/that shouldn't go together. I can pull and paste words together to create something signaturely mine and physically demand the readers to watch me and see it and maybe reach out to touch what isn't there.

Recently I've found that I enjoy writing in general. The trouble for me is organizing my thoughts, elongating pieces I've written, and doing the research to back up whatever statements I make. I actually have a recreational blog aside from the one created for English class. I've had Creative Thinking classes before which pained me, to put it lightly. After reading about one or two poets who have taken Creative Writing courses, I'm highly interested in following suit to expand my own hobby. Pursuit of this class will hopefully develop my past-time into a blossoming talent.

Birthday Party in Rochdale

This evening I went out with my sister and her girlfriend to a birthday party.

I had a great time as usual because we make so many really good jokes.
Her girlfriend and I get along because we are so much alike.
We both inspire positive changes in each other and keep each other grounded and smiling whenever we speak. It's a beautiful thing that she can be accepted as part of the family and we don't have dull moments.

Rejecting and Accepting Stereotypes

It's interesting.
When it comes to listening to my male friends talk about women, I don't necessarily avoid doing what the woman in their stories are accused of doing but I do consider the male point of view. For example, I have some friends who dislike women taking them for granted. In my own personal relationships I try to be a little more understanding of situations in which I might act stereotypically like other women of my age group. I would watch out for times that I might be inconsiderate of the man's feelings and focused on mine all the time.

The way that I succumb to more feminine characteristics would be my burgeoning addiction to high heels, make up and fashion.

V For Vendetta

Every time I hear the saying 'V-day' I think of the movie V For Vendetta. That was a cool moment because I remember an old friend who completely enjoys movies. We shared this passion for dissecting plots and appreciation for the action and theatrics that went into the movies. We indulged in the spectacular shows we sat down to watch, and I promise you, when you do something pretty decent with someone who fully enjoys it, you have a much much better time than if that person did not care.V For Vendetta seemed to be a pretty grand production, what with the cape and all.

But really, I meant to write about my weekend and my Valentine's day. It was spent at my boyfriend's family's house. There was good food and good company. This was simple but held value to me anyway.

Audre Lorde- Takira's Vision

"When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid"

Last night, I contacted a high school friend using Facebook chat. I asked him why he was sending me subtle, hostile messages. He answered that he knew how I was in high school and that I had changed. He said I had low self-esteem and he always told me that I was pretty. He said I didn't think I was better than anybody else, which was different from the person I am today. He rambled on about how unfair I am and the only way to make things right would be to apologize to him. I couldn't continue the conversation because I had always thought this man was foolish and always had a hard time maintaining a talk with him. I told him I had to go, even though I was furious and wanted to scream at him. We ended the conversation.

As much as I try to be humble, I definitely am proud of who I am today. As shy and reserved as I am, I am certainly happy with the many ways I venture out of my comfort zone. One thing that is very important to me is sharing my heart with my family and friends. One way is posting my poems on Facebook. It's an easy door to my heart. The fact that I can share that with people is a stepping stone for me. Another is the time I take to give kind and hopefully guiding words to them when they come to me for answers or comfort by way of phone calls, texts, or inbox messages. The fact that I can no longer be the scared, shy, hidden girl I was 7, 8 years ago is a good thing to me because of all the positivity I think that I bring to the people around me. I am obviously not physically strong. But using words as my tool, I feel that I possess a mental and emotional strength that others cannot see by looking at me.

Snow Day

I am reminded of the teenage movie by the same name as this blog post. It was pretty entertaining. In the movie, school was also cancelled due to the abundant snow. I stayed in all day even though I was itching to leave the apartment. Maybe I just didn't like the look my dad had after coming from a quick walk to the store.

Neighborhood Ode

In my old neighborhood, Jamaica Queens, I grew up with my 2 younger boy cousins. I think the tomboyish ways I developed was due to this. I didn't play with Barbie dolls and Polly Pockets until way later, it was video games and basketball for us. We played tag, freeze tag, red light green light 123, acted out action scenes from movies or wrestling shows, or just ran down the block to get away from the house. Running was just about all we did. Except in and out the house. Collectively, we had about 4 times to run in and out, then we had to choose one to do.

Since my house was in the middle of a cross street, it seemed like we had a better advantage over those who lived on one end. Those kids had parents who didn't want them at the other end where the vision was limited. The environment we were in was kind of safe. The corner store was perpendicular to my house, so getting candy was just a matter of asking for a little change and running up the block. Our money went to that or delighting in ice cream when we heard the ice cream truck down the block.

Early Bird Catches The Worm

I have an obsession with sunlight. I have developed a firm belief that sunlight = happiness. Recently, I have begun sleeping well into the early afternoon even though my alarm is set for 8 am. This particular morning I woke up as my alarm went off and I felt a burst of energy that has been lacking from my usual awakening. Curiosity on my mind, I reached for my Macbook and google things I missed from the last English 101 assignment.

There are a few gentlemen in my class who have taken my mind farther than the 4 walls my class was set in. Hunger for information and food are all I feel. I double check the facts distributed by a particular classmate and he's on my mind as I realize most of my class notes are from his own research as well as the teacher's comments. Satisfied that I confirmed his input, I move onto the assignments due next week with the ambition and eagerness to dig just as deep as he has.

Current Events

So recently, I have been thinking about my late grandmother a lot. Somehow I have managed to incorporate her into almost everything I talk about. I dream about her. I thank her for her influence on me. I miss her. But I refuse to be down about her missing presence.

I have been reading a book my friend mentioned on Facebook. It has to do with raising black boys the proper way and what influences may deter the parents' work. I take on a curious and thoughtful standpoint when it comes to what the psychoanalysis is concerning the black community. I continue to wonder where resentment and double standards come from even though equal treatment is the most deserving thing to be offered.

I Remember (the time...)

I remember my cousins and I eating breakfast at my grandma's house where I lived.
I remember Nintendo games.
I remember falling asleep doing homework and then staying up past my bedtime.
I remember having 13 pets and forgetting to take care of them.
I remember holding my little brother when he was an infant.
I remember girls wanting to play in my hair.
I remember knowing about sex when I was younger than 10 years old.
I remember my mom admitting to me that she was depressed with her life and it affecting me.
I remember Cabbage Patch Kids.
I remember playing tag with about 15 other kids in the Dallas, Texas apartment complex I lived in.
I remember crying to my mom when we found out the tumor I had was cancerous and I didn't understand if that meant I would die.
I remember the first time I was completely stressed and it being due to a relationship.
I remember the first times I smoked.
I remember a friend's girlfriend dying and it meant so much to me that I wanted to go back to being care-free as I had been all my life.
I remember being one of the first people to laugh and smile in many situations.
I remember my mom visiting me at my dad's house for the first time. I grew up with her and moved in with him when I was about 20 years old. This was monumental because she came to tell me in person that my grandmother passed away.
I remember my grandma raising me for a large part of my life.
I remember being way too shy to make friends.
I remember my Easy Bake Oven.